eddie pepitone

@eddiepepitone

Comedian-philosopher / Watch my special In Ruins on Netflix / Watch the Doc about me:

Joined August 2009

@eddiepepitone is blocked

Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @eddiepepitone.

  1. Regular Guy Tweet: Aren't funny commercials a gas! Support our troops!

  2. Little Timmy: Mommy do you think Buzzfeed is complicit in dumbing down the population? Mommy: ( slaps him). Fuck you.

  3. Little Timmy: Mommy all the things we have are ultimately meaningless aren't they? Mommy:(slaps him hard) just bring me something.

  4. Remember: YOUR opinions are the most IMPORTANT opinions in the WHOLE world! Live by that and watch your life turn to dust.

  5. Somewhere, probably close by, is a faded celebrity. Don't turn your back. Tell them you like their work. There isn't much time. Do it.

  6. Little Known Wine Pairing: A bold Cabernet goes well with reading of someone's demise on Facebook.

  7. Play in my fields! Dance! Eat! Sing! ( gunshot).

  8. The Apple Watch: Emptiness brought to a level of elegance.

  9. retweeted

    4 hrs til ATC Night at presented by w/

  10. eddie pepitone followed , , and
    • Entertainment-er!

    • On : Every word its own scratchy patch, yet the sum is seamless and fluffy. —Aleksandar Hemon, Author, of Books.

  11. Little Timmy: Mommy is it true that we live in a surveillance state with an obedient celebrity obsessed media? Mommy: fuck you.

  12. Little Timmy: Mommy why don't the .001% of the population who own everything hate us? Mommy : ( slaps Timmy hard) they go to special schools

  13. Read this you sheep ! Chris Hedges: The Pathology of the Rich White Family - Chris Hedges - Truthdig

  14. Remember: fear teaches you to be scared.

  15. Little Timmy: Mommy why is the path to enlightenment a minefield? Mommy ( takes long slug from bottle): because you're an asshole son.

  16. The great personal victories that are offset by great personal failures amount to great personal so what the fuck just happeneds.

  17. Our best efforts is all God wants from us. But not today my intangible friend. Not today.

  18. retweeted

    $5 tickets to see here:

  19. Mom always used to say " God no! No! No! No! No! Please make it stop! No! No! No!" I really miss her.

  20. Not only is the circus abusive to animals it's abusive to those who have to watch it.

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

    You may also like

    ·