- Tweets & replies
I have no feeling on my left side so the last thing I need is to be defied!
Totally psyched to run away from reality the last 30 years of my life. Have many strategies! Woo-hoo!
My feelings are but temporary shadows. So go fuck yourself.
Stay away from people who say: 1) it's trending. 2) our little family. 3) best thing I ever did.
Pops always used to say "it's a shame we were born". Christ I miss him.
My time on this planet is short. That's why I spend most of it worrying about whether or not I should go with the red or black shirt.
Sign that things aren't going well: you consult your psychic on whether to buy long grain or short grain brown rice.
To do list: 1) mellow in old age. 2) get serum to Frank for snake bite. 3) bask in glory before hernia operation.
I feel great about everything! ( gunshot).
Sign that things aren't going well: You are reading Be Brave ( Peanuts wisdom to carry you through) by Charles Schultz
I like to discuss boxing in a claustrophobic bar with a stogie dangling from my pie hole and surgery imminent to some part of my body.
And now a late night treat. Please enjoy
@eddiepepitone in my new short film, "Phil Spector Gets His Mugshot Taken." http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/68e03166fa/phil-spector-mug-shot-photo-shoot …
Good cop Bad cop: my partner wants to maim you for life. I want to challenge you to be a better person. You make the call.
Excuse me I have to do something with a sponge.
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