Here's something you can do to pass the time: take some cray paper fold it in half then wish you were dead!!!18 retweets 39 favorites
Most people are heartless idiots , raising families no less.30 retweets 78 favorites
Signs that things aren't going well: 1) you use grey poupon mustard gas. 2) u hightail it out of places a lot. 3) u sew eyes onto things.25 retweets 45 favorites
To do list: 1) totally be awesome. 2) beg for life. 3) wrestle my demons in an outrageous outfit.19 retweets 49 favorites
Tweets of a moron: Great news! My hair feels awesome and I'm going to drink lots of soda today!!!14 retweets 55 favorites
Tweets of a moron: wow! What a day! We picnicked underneath the power wires then ran into a McDonalds and talked loud on our cells !!!14 retweets 60 favorites
Remember to cower in fear before you tuck in your family. Another day in the corporate plantation. And don't forget to watch a sitcom!30 retweets 86 favorites
Monsanto's corn was seen robbing a gas station then blowing up a food co-op. News at 11! if you're an American you're probably an idiot!14 retweets 49 favorites
As for The Pentagon : We dispense death overseas and hollow us out from the inside at home! Won't you join us!? Watch American Idol first.19 retweets 38 favorites
Signs that things aren't going well: 1) uthink a new pair of sneakers will make a difference in your life. 2) you do a cat scan water slide.9 retweets 32 favorites
2 unrelated thoughts? : I enjoy pictures of nature. There is a plate in my head.9 retweets 39 favorites
To do list: 1) grab life by the balls and make it cough. 2) talk about vases at senior center. 3) bake cronuts for SWAT team.17 retweets 61 favorites
Signs that things aren't going well: 1) you drive with a bumper sticker that says FUCK THE WHALES SAVE ME. 2) your ascot is your talisman.34 retweets 73 favorites
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